A Change Of Pace Read online

  "Check them out, Daddy. They're soooo cute!"

  The Daddy should be a warning for what inevitably is coming next. She waves me over and I sit down on the floor next to the crate, where I was a few days ago. A very content-looking Moe lifts an eyelid when I lean over the edge. Four little balls of fur, barely recognizable as much else, are tucked between her front and hind legs.

  "The little redhead is the only boy." Freddy's voice sounds close to my ear, and I resist the urge to turn to her.

  "I like this one," Millie pipes up, stroking a little black and white fur ball with her finger.

  "She's the smallest," Freddy explains. "The last one born. If you're very careful, you can pick her up."

  "Oh my God, Daddy," my daughter whispers when she holds the tiny mewling kitten in her neck. "Can we have her?"

  And there it is. Last week it was a dog she wanted, today it's a kitten.

  "Honey..." Freddy sits down on the edge of the couch. "These little guys are going to have to stay here for a while yet, before they can go anywhere." Her apologetic, but slightly amused eyes find mine.

  "Besides," I add. "Didn't you want to get a dog?"

  For a minute my girl looks a little crestfallen, before her face lights up. "It's perfect! We could get a puppy and a kitten. They can grow up together, keep each other company."

  Groaning I drop my head, to Freddy's amusement, who softly chuckles at my expense. I'm being railroaded. Before you know it, I'll have a potbelly pig and a goat running around too.

  "For now, why don't you put her back with her momma?" Freddy suggests. "She's gonna need to feed again soon, and I'm ready for that coffee and a bite before we tend to the other animals." Reluctantly, Millie puts the kitten back with the others.

  After a donut and my coffee, with an earful of all the reasons why both a cat and a dog would be a great idea, courtesy of my daughter, I quickly make my escape. Freddy follows me outside.

  "Sorry about that," she says with a shrug, when we get to my Jeep. "If I could've made those kittens less adorable, I would've."

  I turn and raise an eyebrow, which only serves to make her chuckle again. "Anyway, thank you for the coffee. I appreciate you braving the crowds to bring me some."

  "It was a zoo. Will it be like that in town too? I was hoping to get some shit done while Millie is here."

  "If you need groceries, avoid No Frills, that's bound to be packed. It's a favourite with cottagers. Canadian Tire is another one. Best to save those for Monday if you can. Anything else is a crap shoot, so I wish you good luck."

  "Anything you need from town?" I ask, clearly surprising Freddy. "I'm heading that way anyway."

  "You sure?"

  "Wouldn't ask otherwise."

  She smiles at that. "There is actually, I forgot to pick up charcoal briquettes for my grill. My brother and his boys are coming tomorrow, and they're expecting my buffalo burgers."

  "Buffalo burgers?"

  "Best kind of burger there is," she confirms with a grin. "I get the meat from a butcher just south of town and add my own fixings."

  "And they have to be cooked on charcoal?"

  "They don't have to be, I just never got around to investing in a propane barbecue."

  I lean my back against the car door, folding my arms in front of me, enjoying the mundane conversation. Been a long time since I've had someone to talk to about everyday things.

  "So just the one brother?"

  "Yup. Alex and his wife Jane live in Sudbury. She's off to some conference, and he and their twin boys are coming down for a couple of days."

  "How old? The kids I mean."

  "Ten, and two bundles of pre-pubescent energy. Luke and Josh—hellions, really. They're hard to keep contained." She grins, clearly fond of her nephews.

  "I see," I mumble, as an idea starts forming. "Why don't you bring them over?" Freddy looks confused, so I rush to clarify. "I was heading into town to check out some places for a boat. Something I can pull a tube or waterskis with. I was hoping to surprise Millie; she thinks I'm just getting a little shell with an outboard motor to go fishing. Your nephews would probably get a kick out of it too."

  "They probably would." She sounds a little tentative and tilts her head to the side, regarding me closely. "What exactly are you proposing?"

  There is a lot more contained in that question than the get-together I'm suggesting. I don't blame her; I seem to be sending out mixed messages.

  "A Canada Day celebration. Come over tomorrow afternoon with your brother and nephews, bring your bathing suits, and pack up those burgers. I'll take you all out on the boat; get the kids in the tube. I'll make sure I have some drinks, and I can cook up those hamburgers on my brand new grill."

  "I see, you're just wanting your hands on my buffalo burgers," she smirks.

  She's not lying, but that's by far not all I want to get my hands on.

  For someone who likes to do things by the book, I seem to be breaking all my own rules.

  Freddy

  "So who is this guy?"

  Alex is leaning on my counter, watching me mold the buffalo burgers for tonight.

  Having left early this morning, he and the boys were on my doorstep by ten thirty. I'd just stepped out of the shower. Boulder went nuts as soon as his car drove up and barked impatiently until the boys emerged. His buddies. With a quick hello and hug for me, they took off running toward the barn, Boulder at their heels. Alex's "Kids, some help here!" fell to deaf ears, and still grumbling, he accepted my hug.

  Only two years my junior, Alex and I were always best friends growing up. Even as young adults, we hung out in the same circles, and would even go on vacation together from time to time. When Jane appeared on the scene, it had taken me a while to warm up to her. It had always been Alex and me against the world, regardless of who either of us might be seeing at the time, but that changed soon enough with Jane. It was clear quickly that she became his world, and I was happy for him, especially when she became pregnant with the twins.

  I'd just struggled through a period rife with loss and heartache, but the birth of those boys became a light at the end of my tunnel, and I gained a sister along the way.

  My brother, if possible, became even more protective after becoming a father. Even of me, as is evident from the glare on his face when I tell him we're invited to a friend's place for the afternoon.

  "He's a friend, like I said. Met him through his daughter, she's a student at Parry Sound. Newt's a good guy."

  "Why have I never heard of him?"

  "Because they moved here not that long ago, maybe two months?"

  "Do you know anything about him?"

  I have to laugh when Alex keeps grilling me as if I'm sixteen and just brought home a new boyfriend. Never mind that I'm rolling down the wrong side of my forties—he's as protective as ever.

  "Calm your tits, brother dear. The man is a retired police officer, and as I've mentioned a few times now; a friend." I shove the roll of wax paper in his direction. "Why don't you make yourself useful and cut me some squares I can separate my burgers with. They're sticking."

  Working silently side by side gives me a chance to think about Newt, who left me with a lot to reflect on yesterday. I probably would've turned him down, if I didn't think the boys might have a blast, and Alex would get along with him. A few beers, and the brand new speedboat Newt was apparently picking up this morning, would go a long way to helping my brother over his protective streak. Boys will be boys.

  I'm well aware I'm using them as an excuse, but I figure as long as everyone has a good time, no one will get hurt. The temptation of getting another glimpse of Newt in swim shorts is simply too big.

  "What are you grinning at?" Alex's gruff voice cuts through my daytime fantasy. Caught, I can't stop the blush from creeping up my face. He knows me too well. Rolling his eyes, he bites off, "Jesus Christ."

  Luckily, the boys come barging into the house, claiming to be hungry, and giving me a reprieve from their father's
scrutiny.

  "Can Boulder come?" Luke, the more outspoken of the two, pleads.

  "I think we'll leave him at home. He probably needs a nap after running around with you guys all morning. You can play with him all week." That earns me a pout—times two—but the granola bars I toss them are a quick and easy distraction. They're just as predictable as their father; food can fix anything.

  -

  I have to admit, when we pile into Alex's much bigger vehicle half an hour later—a packed cooler, a bag with towels and bathing suits in the back—I'm feeling a bit nervous. What if this blows up in my face? What if the boys annoy the snot out of Millie, which I wouldn't put past them, or if Alex and Newt take an instant dislike to each other? Maybe this wasn't such a great idea after all. I don't even know why it's so important to me that everyone gets along.

  I shouldn't have worried.

  Although I'm familiar with Hollys Lane, where Newt lives, I don't think I ever noticed the decent-sized, two-storey cottage set back a bit from the road. What looks to be a brand new boat trailer is parked on the grass beside the driveway. I guess he managed to find a boat he liked yesterday.

  Alex hasn't even come to a full stop, when the door opens and Newt steps outside. My brother freezes with his hand on the gear shift and is staring at him through the front window.

  "Behave," I hiss under my breath, before opening the door and hopping out.

  "Need a hand?" Newt walks up when I open the back hatch to pull out the cooler. "Here, let me get that."

  "I can take that." Alex steps up on my other side, wedging me in and also putting a hand on the cooler.

  "It's okay, I have it." Newt holds on firmly.

  Ridiculous.

  "I have a better idea," I snap, annoyed at the adolescent posturing and yank the cooler from both their hands. "Luke! Josh! Get your butts over here. Take the cooler inside, please?" I hand it over to the boys, who each grab a side and carry it inside the house. I slowly turn to the men who suspiciously eye each other. "Newt, meet my brother, Alex, and those two boys are his twins, Luke and Josh—Alex, this is Newt. Why don't I leave you two to get better acquainted, while I go make sure the boys don't terrify Millie."

  I don't bother to look at them and follow the boys inside, where I find the cooler dumped haphazardly in the entrance, but no sign of the kids. Carrying the cooler, I shamelessly check out the decor as I make my way to the open-concept kitchen at the back of the house. A loud splash comes from outside. I peek out the large windows over the sink, see Luke sitting down next to Millie on the dock, and watch as Josh doggy-paddles toward them. Millie laughs when Josh starts pulling on his brother's legs, trying to get him in the water in apparent retaliation. The kids are clearly good.

  I start unpacking the cooler, needing to finish off the pasta salad I started at home. I try not to think about the two men I left standing in the driveway, instead I rummage through the well-stocked cupboards to find a good-sized bowl. I find it in a large pot drawer on the bottom and am just pulling it out when a pair of large bare feet come into my line of vision.

  Lovely. My ass up in the air, my braid half obscuring my vision, I can only hope it's Alex and not Newt catching me red-handed, going through his stuff. These feet are nice, though, so clearly not my brother's.

  "I'm almost afraid to offer you a hand with that," Newt teases. "Glad to see you're finding things all right."

  "My brother still alive?" I ask, straightening up with as much grace as I can muster—which isn't saying much. "Sorry about—"

  "He's fine. Out back checking on the boys and I'm grabbing us some brews. Want one?"

  "Not yet, thanks, I'll finish this up first. I'll grab one when I come out."

  "You gonna be okay finding everything?"

  I hear the amused tone and turn to face him, trying not to get distracted by the strong legs in board shorts and the threadbare Eagles T-shirt clinging to his broad shoulders.

  "If you don't mind me snooping through your fridge and cupboards, I'll be fine."

  "Snoop away," he says with a grin, twisting the tops of the bottles of beer and reaching around me to toss them in the garbage under the sink. His hand brushes the outside of my thigh and I take in a sharp breath, only to release it out once I hear the back sliding doors close behind him.

  I glance out the window. Alex is admiring a huge grill built into a brick outdoor kitchen, complete with stainless steel countertop and single sink, when Newt hands him his beer. I almost drop the bowl I'm still holding when I watch my brother clap the other man on the shoulder. I'll be damned.

  It's a gorgeous afternoon. Newt's back deck provides a decent amount of shade, so I don't bake as I watch the guys take the kids out tubing. Even Millie, who gave me a sweet hug hello earlier, is out on the water. My nephews can be hilarious, and between them they've managed to draw Millie out of her shell.

  After dinner, we stay and watch the sunset over Shebeshekong Lake. The boys roast marshmallows over the bonfire under Millie's supervision. I sit flanked by Alex on one side, and Newt on the other, in Adirondack chairs on the waterside dock, looking out into the night.

  It's almost eleven when my brother shepherds two sleepy boys to the car, leaving me to help clean the kitchen. Millie's already gone up to her room, so it's just Newt and me.

  "I'll take care of this later," he objects when I try to load the dishwasher, stopping me with a hand on my arm.

  "Okay," I consent, suddenly aware of a tension in the air. "I'll get out of your hair."

  I grab a towel to dry my hands, noticing Newt is still holding onto me.

  "I like you in my hair." His voice is soft, low, and ripples over my skin like a touch. "This was a good time."

  "Yes, it was."

  "Your burgers are awesome." His hand slides down my arm until he holds just my fingers.

  "Glad you enjoyed." A little self-conscious under his scrutiny, I smile down at our feet.

  "I'm stalling," he finally admits.

  "I know," I whisper, risking a glance up at his face.

  Once again teetering on the edge of want and wisdom. His blue eyes are dark with intensity as he lowers his head, and I hold my breath in anticipation.

  "Sis, you coming?" Alex's voice calls from outside.

  TWELVE

  Freddy

  "You sure you don't want to come?"

  The boys are already in the car, impatiently waiting for their father who is lingering on the porch.

  "Positive," I confirm for the tenth time. "Get out of here, I'm sure Millie thinks you've forgotten her by now."

  Tuesday half-price tickets at the local theatre came up during dinner on Sunday, and when Millie mentioned the Transformers movie was playing, there was no holding the twins back. Alex caved—not that the boys had to work very hard—and invited Millie along. Newt passed, as did I, because I'd rather have a root canal than subject myself to that. It hasn't stopped Alex from asking, though.

  "Have fun!" I wave at the boys, who are literally bouncing in their seats. Not sure what they're more excited for, the pizza at Milano’s Alex promised them or the movie.

  I do a quick scan of my fridge for dinner options, but nothing tempts me. The freezer produces a sad, mostly frostbitten selection that doesn't particularly appeal either. By the time I have the animals fed, I'm restless with my own company and am unable to ignore my growling stomach any longer.

  Trapper’s Choice is a local restaurant—a little bit of a hole in the wall—that serves a decent fish and chips, which is what I happen to be craving. A bit of nostalgia, since I used to take my mom there on occasion. Going out for dinner was a treat she'd rarely afforded herself when we were growing up, so as soon as I had a paycheque of my own, I would take her out once a month. We ate at a lot of different restaurants in the region over the years, but we often ended up at Trapper’s Choice, Mom liked it. I grab my keys, apologize to Boulder for leaving him behind, and head to town.

  The restaurant isn't busy and I easily find
a table outside. An occasional indulgence, people watching, although there's really not a lot of foot traffic here. Mostly cars going by on the road out front. When Mom was still alive, we would sit here and make up stories to go along with the cars passing by. Silly stuff, but fun memories. I've only been here a handful of times since she passed away; it's always a little bittersweet.

  The server sets the cold pint of beer I asked for in front of me, the glass slick with condensation.

  "Your food will be a few minutes," she says when I place my order.

  "No problem."

  She smiles, grabs the menu I didn't even bother to glance at, and disappears inside. Returning my gaze to the road, I take a sip of my beer and allow myself to think about the earlier call I received from Dr. Heikal. I make it a rule not to worry unless I absolutely have to, but I admit the call left me slightly unsettled. I haven't mentioned anything to Alex, mainly because there is nothing to mention. At least not yet.

  My attention is drawn to a familiar Jeep pulling into the parking lot.

  Newt

  Strange, before Millie came to live with me I used to eat out alone all the time. Since then, it's always been the two of us.

  For some reason, tonight I don't feel like hanging out at home, scrounging up something to eat. There's a place I've seen in town that I've wanted to check out. Looks like it belongs in a Western, a bit run-down, but there are always cars outside, so the food can't be that bad.

  I see her the moment I pull into the parking lot—Freddy. She's sitting at one of the plastic tables on the porch, looking right back at me. For a moment after I turn the car off, I just sit there staring at her. We haven't talked since I almost kissed her—again—Sunday night.

  Part of me knows if I get out of this car, there's no fucking way I'll keep my distance. I briefly consider just leaving, but the truth is; in this small town I'm going to run into her again and again.

  Decisively I open my door.

  "For a minute there, I wasn't sure if you were going to get out at all."